Which is what V. said when I apologised for ranting over and over again about my kidney.
"Sure," I replied. "I have a finite supply of kidneys and should I need to get rid of the other one, it would be an entirely different issue. Much more interesting."
There is actually something darkly funny about writing "get kidney removed" to the to-do list. In the last few months, everything seems to go wrong. Not abysmally wrong, just... I get some vague idea that matters are sort of settled, life can go on as usual, nothing exciting expected anytime soon. And, then things change enough to warrant some planning, rearranging and rethinking which needs time and energy, I plan, arrange and organise, dust settles, the first spark of a hint of a speck of idea that the dust might have settled and life is back to mundane, something changes again. Rinse, repeat... get kidney removed and finish rinsing and repeating when the pathology results are back.
My mother says that one should learn to find the positive side of everything and try to enjoy it as much as possible. She certainly did not mean gallows humour, I cannot even say that I still have one left or that in liver, it would be worse, it cannot be hacked off and they say that it is a pain in the arse to stitch it up.
Sunday, 3 March 2019
Saturday, 2 March 2019
You're fine
my GP said, and in one breath, she continued, "but the stomach should be seen by a surgeon."
I hear that everyone hates this sort of patients. They have a handful of vague symptoms pointing vaguely in several directions, most of them are whiners and hypochondriacs but then there is that handful who are apparently sick but it is not exactly easy to find out what is the problem.
I went to see my GP because I reached her on the phone, otherwise I would see my ob/gyn who is closer at hand and as good for vague stomach complaints. I listed my vague stomach complaints and other vague complaints and kept apologising that I know that these are vague complaints but I generally feel crappy and it's differently crappy than normally crappy so I though I would rather get checked. The doctor did her poking and prodding, found out that I do not look fine overall but there is nothing much
I was referred to a surgeon who ordered a few tests, nodded his head, said something about something being wrong with my kidney, added an uncalled-for rant about how they might save said kidney and referred me to urology to the university hospital.
The inevitable part of medical care is the red tape and following the protocols so as an outside patient, I had to go through the emergency entrance and start there. Apparently, a paper starting with STAT has quite a bit of mana so I proceeded fairly quickly.
The urologist did his ultrasound and showed me what the problem is, something that looked like a potato. I nodded and asked where the actual kidney is, just for scale and the doctor showed me a thin line surrounding the mass.
"It is not pretty, is it," I said.
"No," the doctor replied and scheduled me for a CT scan and for a next checkup.
I was down and pissed. Rather more pissed than unhappy because I had exams to do and things to write and with the damn depression, I was not exactly productive so having another so another goddamn problem and another need to rearrange what I had already rearranged annoys me to no end.
I hear that everyone hates this sort of patients. They have a handful of vague symptoms pointing vaguely in several directions, most of them are whiners and hypochondriacs but then there is that handful who are apparently sick but it is not exactly easy to find out what is the problem.
I went to see my GP because I reached her on the phone, otherwise I would see my ob/gyn who is closer at hand and as good for vague stomach complaints. I listed my vague stomach complaints and other vague complaints and kept apologising that I know that these are vague complaints but I generally feel crappy and it's differently crappy than normally crappy so I though I would rather get checked. The doctor did her poking and prodding, found out that I do not look fine overall but there is nothing much
I was referred to a surgeon who ordered a few tests, nodded his head, said something about something being wrong with my kidney, added an uncalled-for rant about how they might save said kidney and referred me to urology to the university hospital.
The inevitable part of medical care is the red tape and following the protocols so as an outside patient, I had to go through the emergency entrance and start there. Apparently, a paper starting with STAT has quite a bit of mana so I proceeded fairly quickly.
The urologist did his ultrasound and showed me what the problem is, something that looked like a potato. I nodded and asked where the actual kidney is, just for scale and the doctor showed me a thin line surrounding the mass.
"It is not pretty, is it," I said.
"No," the doctor replied and scheduled me for a CT scan and for a next checkup.
I was down and pissed. Rather more pissed than unhappy because I had exams to do and things to write and with the damn depression, I was not exactly productive so having another so another goddamn problem and another need to rearrange what I had already rearranged annoys me to no end.
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