In the last few days, I've been through more family reunions than I'd consider humane. I've heard stories, found out that, for example, my aunt doesn't drink a little but that she plainly drinks... etc.
I've been asked about my future plans. What I plan to do for a job when I'm done with studies? Well, Auntie, do you have some irresistible offer for me, I answered using the stock answer for combatting idiotic questions.
I've been asked about Italy. Like, where there I was.
lorence, Cousin I. Aah, Florence. And where were you in Italy, asked Cousin II. No, my cousins are not the brightest bunch. I answered again and Cousin III. asked What about those oh-so-hot Italians in... where were you there. I had no time to waste on hanging around with guys back there in Florence, I answered. That's a pity, Cousin I. continued, it would be fun to go for your wedding to Rome.
It reminded me of a lady I know. She's an occasional writer and in one of her real life stories, she described how she moved to the countryside - and to real backwater, for that matter. She needed to fix something around the house, found a repairman... who however wanted to deal with her husband. She was happily divorced, said that it's her plumbing or whatever and that she's going to deal with the repairs. The guy wouldn't give in and Maya, being aware of the countryside mentality, got an idea as ingenious as evil, called her male friend to Lima - a High Court judge or something like that, for that matter - and had him talk to the repair guy in Spanish for half an hour. Allegedly asserting that the things be done as Maya wishes. Repair guy was happy working for a decent lady with ahusband, and even one on a business trip so far away, it has to be a honorable lady indeed, Maya got her plumbing fixed... and later on, she developed her evil plan and added the guy's long Spanish name on her mailbox, thus earning lots of reputation in the village.
I'm 30 and apparently, there hasn't been any decent feast with lots of free food and booze so folks are asking me when I'll get married. Or not, in fact, after several legendary answers of mine, like, say, Erm, well, I don't have that much time for hobbies and I'll rather spend it collecting knitting yarn. Now they ask my mom and she has parallel thinking with Maya, I've had an imaginary boyfriend doing geologic research in Mongolia since around 2005. Mommy is happy that nobody asks her whether I'm weird or what, aunties are happy that they have gossips to.... gossip about and I think all are crazy.
A few years ago, my cousin was marrying some filthy rich Australian and the wedding was overdone. Overdone with abit of taste but still, there was that snobbish undertone of See how much better things are done in Australia. My mom was enchanted and started planning my wedding. "It has to be so memorable that it'll be talked about for three generations," she kept repeating despite the fact that I was single and kept repeating that if nothing else, if a bucket of money has to be spent, then not for feeding the whole family for two days. "You wouldn't have to pay for it," mom asserted and I kept trying to dissuade her from thinking stupid. Luckily, whatever mom thinks, she doesn't talk stupid at least.
Although mom stopped trying to marry me, she wants me to give a clear plan of what I want to do when I'm done with the school. I haven't told her yet that I plan to start another school. When I mentioned that I may find some postdoc fellowship in the U. S. or somewhere, she replied "But I don't want you to go to the States, it's far away." Erm, sure, she would want me to teach at the local university, because "nobody is that much interested in working there and you'd have better promotion opportunities and such." No. Damn. Way. I might explain the whole story some other day but there was some sort of conflict and it was not nice. And, she would want me to live back at parents'. (And to get married and have some kids she could spoil.)
As if I knew. I'm sure that I want another Siamese cat, though.
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