Friday, 5 February 2010

The Perfumista challenge

On Tuesday, I think, the samples from Pat of Olfactarama arrived.
Also, I got my new laptop. Not that I needed one, we were just getting some new stuff and I was offered an upgrade. It took some time because I'm just a stupid blonde and the times when I knew all the technical details about all computers on the market are long gone. It must be noted that it was around 1992, when 'all computers on the market' meant four.
So, I stated that I need something that can be dragged around without too much care, something that will support my photoshop related needs and that it better be pretty. Upon hearing 'pretty', the boss made a disgusted face and sent me off with the IT guy to find something. The IT guy is a bit of a lazyass so he showed me a website of the local computer retailer and told me to pick somehting. I was rather lost so I decided to play the prank of pretty to the full and printed out something on the pink Asus, saying that I don't get the geeky stuff but, well, I would maybe like this one. The boss and I had a good laugh and off I went to do whatever I was to do. Meantime, the IT guy got his dose of being yelled at that he was to help me pick a laptop and he even didn't notice that I wanted a pink one. Alas, the IT type, who failed to grasp my sense of humour since the 15-ish years we know each other, took it seriously and now I'm known as the one who wanted a pink laptop.
Erm, well, I got an ordinary black one and then the troubles started. Not because the new lappy is black, so was the previous one, but...
Well, I've been around computers since 1992. A plain user but not an idiot. And, as a plain user and occasional graphic designer since pliocene, I hold Views. Like, that things should be simple and convenient. I saw the Windows Vista once and they nearly made me vomit because they were so full of pretty and cute and shiny. So imagine my terror when I saw my new computer with things installed and it looked like Vistas, including the floating and pulsing elements. I thought I had died and gone to hell but instead of screaming first, I simply asked what the fuck and if someone could take the thing away from my computer or else I don't touch it with a long stick. The IT type started explaining that I'm a Luddite and that everything evolves, win 7 are so exquisitely and unimaginably more user friendly than anything before, blah, blah, but I insisted that I don't care that it only looks like Vistas but inside, it's much better, that whatever it may be, I don't want to look at it and now excuse me while I bleach my eyes. I suspect that I surpassed the public notion of computer idiocy I had created with the pink laptop but apparently, IT type recognized that matters may be serious and changed the layout to something he claimed to be almost the same as XP and said that I was crazy.
Now, user friendly. I think DOS is user-friendly enough, just for the record. I want to go up from my folder, not back in search history, if I'm to have the win thingies. Also, I don't need my crap localized. Which doesn't mean Oh noez, you don't need to bother to find the local language settings for me, I'll manage with tears and suffering in English. It means Gimme my stuff in civilized language with civilized industrial standards that make sense, not that heap of shit translated by a demented chimpanzee.
I spent two days headdesking in utter frustration, not being able to find anything - obviously, the first thing I did was uninstalling firefox and then using Explorer for the only thing it's good for, downloading any other browser, in my case firefox in English (1) and then I was at least marginally able to function.
Still, I feel an urge to make a quilted cushion that says HEADDESK and place it next to my computer so that I save my forehead the worst.
Now, three days later, I'm still very unhappy. The wide screen is totally useless for weirdos like me who couldn't care less for 3D games, I'd prefer a high screen so that I can have something in photoshop... well, taller and bigger. I'll try to catch my architect friend who is more computer-savvy than our IT guy to check if he can make the win 7 look like xp. The thing is, I have very visual memory. In general, I don't have much clue how my folders and files are named. I only know where they are - visually. Mess up the looks of the filing systems and I'll be moreless helpless. So, if re-doing it visually doesn't help, I'm downgrading. Call me a fossil - I am one, after all. And I don't care.

Sure, I wanted to write about Pat's perfume creations but I got carried away. Sorry, next time.


(1) I hear there are better browsers but firefox has better logo.

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