Friday, 20 April 2012

Dear Google,

Warning for the weak of mind and knees: In this post, I'm cussing like an old sailor. the new layout of blogspot is horrid, awful and irritating to no end. I know I know, the issue is that I'm used to something different. I don't know whether I'm writing in html mode now, for example, so should the dear and esteemed readers see some html tags that don't work, it's the fault of you, Google, who bought blogspot and who spreads the horrid and shiny white page designs even further. (Yes, your homepage is awful as well.) And then there's the anti-logic placement of the Publish/Save/etc buttons at the top. Hey, I write top-down and I end up down there so for reasons of common sense and ergonomy, I'd expect the Publish button to be at the end of my rant. The dashboard starts with your self-advertising. If I wanted to link everything to my Google profile, I'd have done it long time ago. I care a damn about all the Google shit that is supposed to make my life easier - I want to keep my life as difficult as it is, with separate passwords, if nothing else. And I want to go to dashboard to manage my blogs, which is the first and only thing I want about blogspot. As an aside: Don't take me on your general google shit. I keep reverting to English as the language of Google and all associated shit because, holy hell, I want my stuff in English, not in Czech although I'm presently located in a Czech-speaking area. You're a damn racist, xenophobic, intolerant and what else piece of idiot which doesn't respect one's freedom of choice to use their language wherever they are. I haven't looked around yet, admittedly, this piece of shitty annoying graphics may be customizable - just at this moment, I'd want to smear it with the blood of the goddamn optimist who thought that vast stretches of shiny bright white that hurts one's eyes splotched with carrot vomit orange is a good idea. I suspect that there was a super hyper important brainstorming meeting and some smartass psychologist (the sort who talks to angels and arranges crap on her table according to feng shui) decided that orange-on-white stimulates creativity, boosts energy, promotes weight loss and memory improvement. The graphic designer did what they asked him and then jumped off a cliff. I hope this crap is customizable - it will take me quite some time to find out in this new mess to find out - and I can get some darkish and subdued colours before my eyes are burned out. Google, fuck yourself. Also, WHERE IS THE FIELD FOR TAGS! And where is the fucking Publish button if not just under the body text field? Google, fuck yourself. Oops, I already said that. Huh, they started calling the tags 'labels'. They're not in a column, easy to go through, but written as a paragraph of text so that I can't see what tag I'm using in case I'm royally pissed. Hey, Google morons, do you know why I avoided wordpress like plague? Because their layout was a hell to go through. And awful. Now you emulated wordpress, thank you not. I had a tag 'bunch of idiots' that was specially designated - ha! and now how do I open the published posts in another window when you Google idjits removed the blogspot tabs that used to be up there? - dear readers, you need to find it yourselves because Google doesn't let me to do things easily and I can't search in my posts by tags. Now it's high time to resurrect said tag (not label, Google morons, labels are pieces of paper with glue on one side; if you stick said labels onto your screen, it's your quirk, don't force it upon innocent bystanders). Okay, the tags (not labels, assholes) are in a roll-down thingy. More clicks, more happiness. And those 25 or how many published posts on page 1 are interspersed with lots of useless white space to hurt my eyes even more and for the 15th and up posts, I need to scroll down. Since when a carpal tunnel syndrome or another mouseitis is a welcome thing, I'm asking you? Dear readers, thank you for your attention, should you feel like it, send me some booze. As you see, I need it. Not-really-dear Google, make this shit customizable so that I can revert it to white on black and get rid of the carrot puke coloured details.

No comments:

Post a Comment