Decisions, decisions.

I have a really serious SAD. That's seasonal affective disorder, mostly known as winter depression. So, it's May, sunny, windy, reasonably warm and I spend lots of my time cycling, botanizing or gardening although I should do more about the weeds and stuff indeed. Yesterday I aimed for the hills, if the slightly rolling landscape deserves that name, today my joints are giving me one of a hell and I wanted to go cycling again while staying in the flatland. And then I spent an hour deciding where to go. The local swampy meadows were the obvious choice but I forgot to buy insect repellent again so at the end, I'll go and pick my books at the library, my meds in the pharmacy, my mail at the post office, DEET en route and then I'll be sitting at home sorting out my herbary or pruning some overgrown bastards to turn them into mulch. Unless I spend a few more hours deciding what to do first. My camera is half-dead and doubtfully able to take decent pics of plants but I'll try my best and maybe something will show up but I'm leaving botanical blogging for a literal rainy day, the one after the rainy day when I was doing some cleaning. Now I'm off to the library etc. And remind me someday soon that I want to get the light therapy lamp to prevent October zombification. Also, where's the damn Publish button again?

Many things happened.

I got that damn plague and I'm still coughing. My ENT recommended using topical corticoids on all places that feel bad so I'm squirting various things into my nose, lungs and eyes and it helps a bit. At least. Two weeks ago, my grandpa collapsed, was taken to emergency room, stayed in the hospital to be diagnosed with pneumonia, responded well to antibiotics, ordered sausages... and then worsened and died. My mom's siblings are, and there's hardly a way how to put it delicately, self-centered idjits. Grandpa had not been exactly well for months, dear uncle and aunt didn't bother to even call and even less to come. When my mom, an unofficial head of the clan, did some yelling, they both arrived so that they could go and see grandpa in hospital and such. Grandpa died next day and before his body cooled, they were gone. No hospital visits needed, let's go partyyyyy! or something. Also, uncle doesn't speak with my mom because she speaks with his children with whom he doesn't speak, and uncle doesn't speak to some of his children because they speak to each other. No, nobody gets his mental processes, it's probably a general lack of thereof and observed from a distance, it's great fun. Grandma is doing fine. Just now, she's growing a heap of geraniums for my dad and she's planning her upcoming holiday with a bunch of grandkids. Funnily enough, my self-centered self-absorbed uncle's spawn are nice generous polite people whereas my aunt is less self-centered and her sons are brats who just fail to notice that there are other people in the world. Jumping genes, it seems. Been involved in family stuff, had no time and mood to write. Coming next: How I won a trip to a conference.

Plague

I got sinusitis so I can feel the level of fluid changing as I move my head. The sharp pain in my left ear doesn't appear too pleasant either, I can't hear well and I can't really speak so I went to work to the meeting, printed some strictly non-work stuff and was chased home so that I don't spread the bug all over the office. I'm tired and cranky. The heat wave doesn't help the slightest - who the hell thought July weather in April is a good idea? so I'm just messing around, sweating profusely and trying not to fall from the stairs as I'm dizzy. I was away for a few days. When I got back, I got told off for yet another time that I didn't text my mom on Saturday (I can't explain that no news means good news, that if I got hit by tram, someone would try to find my relatives to find where to ship my remnants), I was asked how I was etc., and only after second glass of wine, football talk, weather cursing and similar important things, mom remarked Oh, and I forgot to tell you that grandpa collapsed on Thursday and was taken to ICU. I phoned her on Thursday, the hell. In other news, grandpa is dying. He's sort of fine - sleeping 20 hours a day and being tired and weak, no pains or similar stuff and he's not the type who would object to lying in bed, doing nothing and having food brought - but it's taking a toll on everyone's nerves. Which reminds me that I need to mail A. that alas, I'm not going to Vienna again (shit). I found out that zazen and snotty nose are irreconcilable so I can't let the brain unclutter. I mean, I'm not upsed by grandpa dying but by the other people who are upset and are sharing their feeling with anyone within reach. And the plague is being annoying as well. I printed tags so I'll go and play with the herbary, that's good for mental health as well. Where the fuck is my 'Publish' button, you Google idjits!!!!!!!!! I found it. You're not going to get me.