Wednesday, 29 April 2009


Google Doctorate - Mom
Me: Hey, there's this new doctorate thingy, want to know?
Mom: Sure.
Me: GoD, you see.
Mom: And it means?
Me: Google Doctorate. (Funny, isn't that, isn't that... hey?)
Mom: Cool, and where can one get that?
Me: (Is the irony so subtle that me, master of understatement and hidden nasty jokes doesn't see it? Or?) Google University, of course. (1)
Mom: And where's that one?

Truffle Oil - Dad

Mom called the other day, talking about gardening and stuff and said that guys (2) were around and that dad wanted to make bacon and eggs and:
"you pissed him. He wanted to take that little bottle of oil you brought and it wasn't closed properly and he took it by the lid and dropped it on the floor and it broke."
"He should drop this habit of taking bottles by the lid. Leads to disasters. And, it was closed - in a way that I could open it without a wrench." Some obscure idea starts kicking my shin wildly.
"Little bottle of oil I brought? I brought a huge one and it's in the cellar. There was... damn, you tell me that my father wanted to use truffle oil for frying? Truffle oil that's added into salads a drop a time? And dropped it on the floor?" I take a while off to have a wild laugh. "Well, enjoy the truffle den, there."

Yours Truly - today morning.
I needed to pay a bill and found out that I forgot my internet banking access username. Some idiotic random mess of letters and numbers, I did remember it yesterday the last time and now I couldn't get it right. I tried a few times, then I called the hotline, they told me that I have to come personally.
Meantime, it was eight something, caffeine spread in my system and not my brains but my hands remembered. (3)

Yours truly - sunscreen
I have this sun allergy and I have several tubes of sunscreen. One was covered with greasy handprints and since I wanted to have a shower (yep, I work out in the mornings when I get up early. Then, the body seems to be burning caffeine faster and I... do things), I took the tube with me. That sunscreen is waterproof. Very so, it doesn't wash off and even scrub doesn't work on it. (4) Well, water falling on me, I grab a tube (5), press out some contents into the palm of my other hand and... it's the waterproof sunscreen. I couldn't wash it off neither with soap nor with shampoo for greasy hair, I basically wiped it off with a brush I use for my heels.

I see a pattern.

(1) In case someone wasn't properly informed, Google university = I read it in the internetz, it haz to be true.
(2) Botanist and Doc. My friends she has snatched from me because they like food and mom likes to feed people. Guys look thin, too.
(3) The body has memory on its own. Gotta use the concept in the material for teachers I'm writing (ahem).
(4) It has to peel off or something. I didn't investigate.
(5) I could say that it's because I'm very shortsighted and my vision was blurred but that would be a lie.

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