Monday, 9 February 2009

A house on my own, part two and half.

The St. Valentine's day is approaching. Another milestone in the consumer's calendar – no more ploughing or sowing or at least the end of cold outdoors but occasions on which one is obliged to give gifts, regardless whether they are welcome, befitting or of any use.

I at least get something lying behind the whole Christmas thing. Not Easter, the idea of Easter is too complicated and depressing so the consumerist crap stretches only along the lines of chocolate eggs. But... St. Valentine? Yeah, there's some legend. I'll check the Bollandists for details when I bump into the Acta Sanctorum, at least I'll be able to fight the crap with decent arguments. I doubt, though, that any legend or even historical fact has anything to do with plush bears holding plush hearts. Or the ritual of eating oysters and drinking champagne for dinner. Or heart-patterned underwear. With this obsession about hearts, why a heart of any animal that tastes good shouldn't be served, with some sauce that could even be pink? This would be at least stylish.

I'm bothered by good part of people around me – they expect me to marry someday soon because there's nothing that should be preventing me from it. Or at least from a long-term stable relationship with the father of my future children. I'm pretty (6 or so), healthy, intelligent and what the fuck else so I should settle down before my biological clock starts ticking. No damn way. I'm becoming increasingly aware of how being alone helps my work. I'm not distracted – how simple and yet how complicated for many people to understand.

It is said and repeated so boringly often that women have to sacrifice their lives and/or family to research. Some maybe do but I strongly suspect that many more women sacrifice their research to family... and nobody minds. I only wait when someone tells me how sad it has to be to live only for my work and that I should have at least tried, maybe I could've found a husband who would tolerate my work.

They are all getting it wrong.

I'm not sacrificing anything. First, I never had any inkling to have a family. I'm a natural born loner. Second, I strongly suspect that if I actually had to choose, I would choose learning – what else research is than constant learning? Solitude helps concentration. I have social life enough to keep me entertained and feeling connected.. and then I can happily retreat to my own quiet place and sink into something that most people would find extremely obscure.

Maybe on Friday I'll celebrate my relationship to Knowledge. No plush bears, though.

1 comment:

  1. Hi,

    Great post. I think you should stick to a life path that you feel comfortable with.