Tuesday, 27 April 2010


The hair dye I got from hairdressers' supply shop is some tough shit. Also fun to play with, the goo to work with is blue. To explain, I bear a grudge against my genetics. I am blonde, it's my phenotype (1) that doesn't fit. I struggle hard.

The other day, I was meeting one of the friends who had hitherto lived only in my computer and knew me from the pics. When we met in person, she exclaimed "Oh! What a surprise! From the pics, I'd guess you'd be a tiny fragile beauty and you're...." she was thinking hard how to say that I'm big, fat (2) and tall. "March of Valkyries," I hinted.

I like going to the gym. I admit that it's stupid to move around big pieces of steel and that a long walk would be more refreshing but I still like it. I noticed that I got to the laughable habits of watching myself in the mirror, checking whether my muscles are growing. Well, not really so. Having done ballet for years, I'm used to tough stretching and it helps to have a mirror to look how wrong I do it.
I ranted happily about that at home. Mom said that I should give it a break, that I already have more muscles than what's pretty and I want to look feminine, don't I.

Mom would be that fragile waif although she has some thyroid problems and it's tough for her to keep her weight down - and she gets obsessive about it. She would want me to look like hers in her younger years forgetting the important fact that I'm built like my big, massive tall father. And I believe that muscles are cool, if not feminine. One can use them whereas femininity is just a sticky label that gets in one's hair or causes skin irritations.

Cousin was visiting. She wanted to go for a shopping spree, needing some professional clothes. I went along with her since I could use something serious, too. While watching the cousin trying on pants and blouses, I made an exciting discovery: I feel like shit in formal wear because it doesn't fit. I've not worn pants that go up to the armpits natural waist since I reached my actual height... while formal pants go somewhere to the chest. If I had belly so flat that I'd look okay in this cut of anything, I wouldn't cover it, folks. Same with jackets, whatever fits across the shoulders is baggy elsewhere. After inquiring carefully in the local salon, I found out that having stuff tailored is not really expensive than buying it off-rack. I'll get civilized one day, wait for more information.

Sephora has green nail paint. Hallelujah, the last decent green was in Dior's spring collection in around 1998.

While shopping at the hairdressers' supplier, I got a bun form. Festival of kitschy hair may begin.

(1) genetics exam looming ahead
(2) somewhat less so nowadays. Somewhat bigger, too.


  1. Aha!
    So, I'm not the only one who thinks women should have some muslces on them. I just learned the other day that people believe I shouldn't have been on my university's rowing team because now I have shoulders that look like shoulders (to me, I hate drooping shoulders) and I'm more of the Amazonian build than anything else.
    That is my version of how I call my build (although Valkyrie isn't bad either). :)

  2. Ines, march of Valkyries was invented by another friend of mine who is also a great Wagner fan.
    One day, when I'll have time enough for that, I'll dig deeper in the perceptions and definitions of femininity - I noticed way too many contradictions and fuzzy areas. Women doing sports are one of them, the beauty ideal orders Thin! yet being muscular (I mean rather sporty than Terminator) is perceived as wrong. I've noticed that, for example, classical ballet characters are perceived as beauty ideals (think, say, Odette) but not dancers themselves - they are thin in the wrong way. But I see I'm opening a can of worms.
    Rowing... well, never tried that, never really appealed to me although there's a roving team at the university in my hometown and they're to be seen practicing on the river. Which is just about all I know.

  3. Oh, pictures please! I love the way a strong, muscular woman looks. Re: shoulders--remember Bo Derek? She had shoulders; wore a size 4 pant and a size 12 top! Worked for her...

  4. Queen Cupcake: I do have a heap of muscles. Under a heap of bacon:D